Don't want to be a Canadian idiot Don't want to be some beer-swillin' hockey nut And do I look like some frostbitten hosehead? I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed
They all live on donuts and moose meat And they leave the house without packing heat Never even bring their guns to the mall And you know what else is too funny? Their stupid monopoly money Can't take 'em seriously at all
Well, maple syrup and snow's what they export They treat curling just like it's a real sport They think their silly accent is so cute Can't understand a thing they're talking aboot
Sure, they've got their national health care Cheaper meds, low crime rates, and clean air Then again, well, they got Celine Dion Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni And dream of drivin' a Zamboni All over Saskatchewan
Don't want to be a Canadian idiot Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius See the map, they're hovering right over us Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous
Always hear the same kind of story Break their nose, and they'll just say "Sorry!" Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite? It's gotta mean they're all up to something So quick, before they see it coming Time for a pre-emptive strike
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